I always wanted three kids. You buy a station wagon/family car, there are five seats; one for Mum, one for Dad and three for the kids. Three seemed a good number.
I met my husband, he wanted two kids, stated, "we already have one with your eldest, now we just need one more". Yes, several girlfriends swooned at this (I can't tell you how many times I heard; Oh he's a keeper!) He knew I wanted three in total. Then I had one more, my second, his first, and he agreed with me and wanted another.
We thought we'd go for number three, but the month he knocked me up my womb was having a two for one deal and we got twins. That changed the dynamic of our lives.
We sold the station wagon and bought a people mover. Thoughts of one child in school and two in child care while we both worked went out the window; who the heck can afford three in child care? If we both continued to work full time, after paying for child care, hubby darling would walk out of work with just $15 cash! That ain't gonna pay the rent kids! Our rental situation went out the window and we started to consider seriously the possibility of buying or building our own home.
All of these things that were never considered all came into play.
So let me just say, when someone asks about my family situation, and I admit to the four children, once my conversation partner stops gasping for air, I then point out that the third child turned out to be twins and it wasn't on purpose and yadda yadda yadda. And at the same time, I feel that I'm apologising for the fact that I have one more child than I expected.
And through the apologies and explanations, right now, I have to admit I wouldn't change that number for the world.